How to Fall in Love with Anyone by Mandy Len Catron

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Book # 3 read for the Magical Readathon! I ended up switching out Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone for How to Fall in Love with Anyone for my Transfiguration exam (read a book with a red cover).

This collection of essays touches on so many concerns that I, personally, have about dating as a relatively inexperienced 22 year old. How to Fall in Love with Anyone does little to assuage any fears I had about breakups, but it also validates my idea that love can be just as powerful and fulfilling as I hoped.

I was horrified during the first couple of essays when I read about her parents’ and grandparents’ age gaps. I’m glad Catron also recognized the problematic aspects of the relationships, but I still can’t get over her dad being 22 and dating a 17 year old who attended the school at which he worked. Even worse was her 15 year old grandma getting married to her 31 year old grandpa!!

My favourite essay in this collection was ‘The Problem of Deservingness’. It had really good comments on how girls are raised with the idea that a “good girl” is shy, unassertive, modest, etc. She also touched on the lack of diversity in so many of our love stories (love the shoutout to the 1997 version of Cinderella starring Brandi and Whoopi Goldberg!).

The story about the vole ‘divorce’ study was so sad.

This essay collection is organized in chronological order, and I found that I enjoyed each essay more than the preceding one. It definitely gives the reader (or at least gave me) a lot to think about and to consider within their own lives/relationships.

Quotes:

• “At twenty, telling someone what I wanted – not what I was supposed to want, but what I really genuinely wanted – was the most terrifying thing I could imagine.” (p. 83)
• “He wanted his experience of the world to be beautiful, and this, above all, made sense to me.” (p. 85)

P.S. I’ve been thinking about this book recently, especially the part where she talks about the “scripts” that are present in every aspect of our lives. Catron says that the scripts are helpful for things like ordering food at restaurants, but are limiting when it comes to our romantic lives. I definitely agree with her. I know I’ve been frustrated when my friends come to me to ask for advice and then say something like “oh but I want him to make the first move, I’m the girl” (my advice in these scenarios is always, “who cares? Ask him out anyways). But when I find myself in a conundrum, I also often rely on scripts. Should I text that person back as soon as I receive their message or does that make me look desperate? But if I wait too long doesn’t that make me seem too aloof and uninterested? I tend to fall back on these scripts to help me know what’s “socially acceptable” so I don’t make a fool of myself when talking to someone I’m interested in. But I think I need to take my own advice and just do what feels right for me. Besides, some of the rules are stupid; “wait three days to text someone after a date”? That’s so long and if you like that person, you should be able to talk to them as soon as you want.